Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Why I won't Pin

Here's the deal. As a child, I loved everything crafty: scissors, tape, glue, glitter, stickers, stationary, pens, you name it. One of my two favorite places to spend my hee-yuge $3-a-week allowance was a stationary store down the street from my house. Loved it.
As I got older, I loved to make cards, mini-books, mix tapes, and scrapbooks. Don't confuse my scrapbooking with what it is now, I did the old-school kind - restaurant napkins, maps, matchbooks, receipts, any identifying item that went along with a picture or a funny story - it went into the photo album with sticky pages that held things in place. Then I carefully layered the plastic sheet over it and smoothed out the air bubbles. It was pro. I was Boss. So it's sometimes surprising, even to me, that I don't modern-day scrapbook. I believe I just might be the last standing American woman who doesn't. Why? I'm not so sure I have a legitimate reason, so I won't even try to make one up. Which leads my thoughts to Pinterest.
Oh, Pinterest. You are so many things to me. Intriguing, yet intimidating. A cornucopia of brilliant ideas, yet an arena that shames me. I have yet to even look your way because I am fearful, but I am willing to lay it all out.
Fear #1 - you will suck the time out of my day, my family, and quite possibly my soul. The Facebook is already time-suck enough, I can't even *begin* to imagine what you, Pinterest, might do to me. Or to my family, for that matter. I don't want to put my sweet husband in the position of explaining to my children why there isn't any food, clean clothing, or a Mom in the house any longer.
Fear #2 - I would feel like a complete doofenschmirtz for not being the person to think of at least some (one) of these ideas to begin with. Pinterest, compared to you, my home-cooked meals and home-made cards look like I am interviewing for a preschool spot. I don't know how I feel about that. How have I *not* thought of making a sugar cookie, frosting the top with green stringy frosting, and placing 3 jelly beans on it to make it look like a bird's nest at Easter time? Really? And honestly, between you and me, I don't like to think that what I do everyday isn't as good as what you do. It quite pisses me off. Instead of "A-ha" moments, I'm afraid I would only experience "Duh" moments, and I don't think that's very positive for my life journey.
Fear #3 - I would be so overwhelmed with all of the ideas you have, Pinterest, that I would be driven to drink (more). Where does one start with you? I live a simple life, and I wonder how that would all change if you were in it. The chaos, the one-upmanship, the score-keeping, the depletion of my childrens' college funds in order to sustain you.
I'm sorry, Pinterest, but for these reasons (and probably others that I can't think of right now, but I have no doubt someone on Pinterest already has) we need to break up. You're too much for me.
It's not me, it's you.

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