Excuse me, I must be in the wrong place.

So school's back in session and we're slowly getting into the groove of it all. At the beginning of each year they have a PTA "Picnic" which we didn't make it to last year for no real reason other than it was a Friday night and, well, we just didn't. After a few days of listening to the boys talk about it upon their return home from school, we decided we would give it a go this year after all - how can we not? They're in 1st grade now, they've got social obligations to keep - appearances to make. We looked over our food choices and noticed that they're asking $5 for a hot dog or hamburger and $10 for a meat sandwich. Um, Ok, so we'll eat at home and then go. Cool.

We arrive around 1/2 way into the shindig, to see almost no familiar faces. Yay us! "So, maybe there's something over there?" (We said that a lot that evening.) We started walking towards what seemed to be the main attraction: the DJ. Alright - this is picking up a little bit, some music, some kids dancing... it might be fun - you know, for kids. Until we realize that the music being played it something you would expect to hear at a 20-something pick up club. Thumpin', bumpin', grindin', shake your thang type music. (Do I sound super old yet?) But really - we're at a K-6 school function - where's We Are Family? Or how about YMCA? Nope, we had a song about going dizzy when you go down. Really? Where am I? And as I'm turning around to see if I accidentally got drunk before leaving the house and was coming out of a blackout - I see a student girl doing a pole dance routine on the tether ball pole. Seriously? With her mom and mom's friend right in front of her, laughing. Did I just see that right? I call my husband's attention, just in case I am drunk. In all the time it took to get his attention, give a casual nod in that direction, have him bear witness to it, and react as I did - she could have been told to stop by a responsible adult. Nope - it was still happening. I was rendered speechless, a very difficult thing to do, and began steering my family away from the "stage". Off to get them each a $3 ice cream. Yay us!

I'm thinking that we'll skip it again next year. At least next time we'll have a legitimate reason.